No Excuses

Six years ago my friend got a phone call from the highly-regarded, “no-excuses” charter school her son attended. He was scheduled to get on a plane the next day with his abuela to spend the summer visiting the country of her birth. The school, though, said that if he did not attend and pass summer school he would have to repeat sixth grade.

His mom canceled his flight. Grandma went without him. He attended summer school and passed. But in late August the school phoned again. This time they said that he would be promoted to seventh grade ONLY IF HE TRANSFERRED to another school!

Why were they so anxious to force him out? What was the character flaw that made him undesirable to that community?

Empathy.

His sin was empathy.

In “no-excuses” schools, children are supposed to keep their eyes on their teacher. When that teacher berates a classmate, the children are not supposed to look at their friend to see how they are taking it. Compliments? Likewise. The same with discussions that have personal subtexts for some kids. All this “focus” was beyond a boy who cared so deeply about his peers. His eyes strayed from his teachers. He checked in constantly with his classmates. He was repeatedly disciplined for it. Now the school administrators made it clear that they wanted him to leave.

He did.

He found a place in a public school downtown, one that values children, not data.

Friday was his graduation. Each senior was called up to receive their diploma by a teacher who knew them well and who said a few words about them. We heard about original research in neuroscience. We heard about leadership on the soccer pitch. We heard about musicianship and mathematical imagination and poetry. We did not hear about anybody’s GPA or their AP exam scores.

When my friend’s son was called to get his diploma his teacher choked up. He wept and said someday he hopes to have a son  with this boy’s empathy.

His empathy.

Six years after being virtually expelled from the first school for empathy, the entire student body of the second - along with their parents and teachers- applauded and roared their approval for him and for his empathy.

Which school would you prefer for your child? 

I know my answer.